Sir Jude's Household - Sweet Surrender

Raleigh, NC

 

 

"Why Is It So Difficult For Submissive Men To Find A Dominant Woman"

Response by Fetlife User: Punishment

 

Lets start with the basics shall we?

 

First, we all know that there are far more Submissive/Claim to be Submissive men on the BDSM scene than there is Domme women. This in itself creates a massive challenge for just finding a woman that is a Domme, single, active and looking for a submissive man. I reckon the odds on this are 5 too 1 before we begin.

 

Next, women prefer to do things slowly and on their own terms. This most defiantly goes doubly for Domme women, they tend to enjoy the slow and delicate process of becoming acquainted with a person before even broaching the subject of submission. Women understand that the person comes before the kink, thus finding the right person is a slow process. Men on the other hand do not for the most part understand this ideal.

 

Then, take into account that Domme women enjoy power. Power for them is not derived over the internet and while FL is a good medium to say hi, far too many Sub men want to air out their kink right away online. Domme or not, a woman is generally not attracted too cyber sex. Sub men seem to push for it like its the be all end all.

 

Now, Domme women view their Dominance too you a gift. The same way they view your submission to them a gift. A gift should never be given lightly and when a Sub man approach's a Domme he doesnt know on a personal level and offers it without hesitation, the Domme knows he doesn't value this gift. If he doesnt value his own submission enough to get to know the Domme how could he ever really appreciate the gift of her domination?

 

Also, every Domme woman is different and unique in their own way. Just like women in vanilla life, there really is very little difference. This is something Sub men seem to miss. Yes you want to get to your knees and kiss her shoes but why would you treat her any differently to a normal woman you are trying to attract? Why lead with "I will do X for you goddess" over getting to know her personally and really learning whats shes like as a person? This is a common mistake, do not confuse submission with weakness guys. Just because shes a Domme woman doesnt mean you should approach her with your tail between your legs, be confident always.

 

Alas, most of that was foreplay for the real reason Sub men have such a hard time finding a Mistress. Most Sub men(and I saying this being one) are complete and utter fucking idiots who wouldnt understand common sense and etiquette if it bit their cock off. I have seen how the bulk of Sub men appraoch a Domme woman and it usually goes like this:

 

Would you like to spank my ass and ride me with a strap on Mistress? I will do whatever you ask and be your slave

 

Now lads, What in the name of Christ is this kinda shite? The majority of sub men are after one thing, they want to satisfy their OWN wants and desires. Why exactly would this be something a Domme woman would want? The combination of idiocy and seeking their own agendas will instantly turn a Domme(or any other woman) off instantly.

 

Buttttttttttttttttttttttttt! What about us "real" Subs you ask? The guys that are genuine, want nothing more than to serve a Dominant woman etc etc. Well lads, I hate to break it too you but we are fucked.

Considering the usual most Domme women put up with on a regular basis why would they entertain you given that your probably no different than them? They wont simply because every time they do give a Sub a chance they usually pick the wrong one and end up with a complete wanker of a man.

 

Too long?

 

Ok heres the cliff notes,

8/10 Sub men are illiterate morons
1/10 are into Dom's so they dont need to worry about this crap
Then the 1/10 thats left are royally fucked for finding a Domme due to the fact were outnumbered by the idiots.

 

Any good news?

 

Well I have some advice for you, though you dont need to take it. I just feel like sharing.

 

Finding a Domme, or more to it the right Domme is a very, very, very hard thing to do. It may take years to meet that person, a lot like meeting the right person in vanilla life. Therefore you shouldn't treat finding a Domme any differently than finding a woman.

 

Be different, be confident, be causal, be yourself over everything else. Be the person you are deep down and apprach the Domme you like as that man, not the sub with his tail between his legs. When you look at successful D/s relationships you always notice that while the Male is Sub, he is far from weak. They are usually very happy, confident and secure in themseleves, learn something from that.

 

Approach that special Domme with every intention of her being yours and youll be hers. Treat her as a person first because you havent earned the right to treat her as a Domme before you know her.

 

Like dude, a lot of this is very common sense but I thought id throw my hat in anyway. I hope you meet the Domme of your dreams, just the same as I hope to meet mine!